Tent
(The episode begins in The Krusty Krab kitchen, SpongeBob is making Krabby Patties. Enter Mr. Krabs) Mr. Krabs: SPONGEBOB! (SpongeBob accidentally touches the grill with his thumb and puts it in his mouth before quickly taking it out) SpongeBob: (to audience) Don't try that at home, kids. (to Mr. Krabs) Ahoy, Captain! Mr. Krabs: Could you go down to the basement and tell Squidward that his break is over. I would, but I've got money that needs counting and I care more about the money we make than the people who sell our products. (returns to his office) SpongeBob: Wait, what? Mr. Krabs: (off-screen) Wrong show, SpongeBob! (cut to the entrance to the basement, Patrick is standing next to SpongeBob) Patrick: Oh, hi SpongeBob! Fancy seeing you here! What are you doing here, anyway? SpongeBob: I'm on an important mission to tell Squidward that his break's over. Patrick: Sounds exciting! Can I come? SpongeBob: Patrick, this is a kid's show. Patrick: Oh yeah. (they enter the basement, Squidward is playing his clarinet terribly) SpongeBob: You know, you shouldn't really be having a nosy in staff-only areas. Patrick: Well, you're not a long stick but you're in this area! (they see that a Bottomite is with Squidward, watching him play) ???: Harder, harder! SpongeBob: Hey, what are you doing down here?! Squidward, Mr. Krabs warned you about invited visitors down here! ???: Keep playing! Don't listen to these, um... haters! SpongeBob: Actually, I'm a fully qualified fry cook! Some would even call me the best! Just try my patties! Check my net worth! Well, not that Mr. Krabs would give that kind of money any time soon... ???: Don't stop now! Hit that final note like a, like a... (sighs, Squidward hits a really loud and terrible final note, everyone else covers their ears) SpongeBob: WHAT'S HAPPENING?!?!?! (The screen briefly fades to white and then quickly cuts back to the same scene, but a pink-ish portal is now in the room, Squidward isn't playing the clarinet anymore - thank goodness - and everyone except Patrick takes their hands off their ears. ??? drops to the floor) Squidward: (gasps) WHAT THE- Uh! Well, what are you waiting for? (he pushes SpongeBob and Patrick in) SpongeBob and Patrick: AAAH! Squidward: (looks down at his clarinet) I'll be needing you. Mr. Krabs: (off-screen) WHAT'S TAKING YOU LOT SO LONG?! WE HAVE A LONG QUEUE UP HERE! Squidward: GOOD LUCK TRYING TO FIND SOME NEW EMPLOYEES! (he hops in too, and the portal closes behind him, the theme song plays, then the scene cuts to them all falling out of another portal in the sky, which closes after them, they all scream) SpongeBob, Patrick & Squidward: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (SpongeBob stretches himself before they hit the floor and the other two safely land on him, he 'un-stretches' himself) SpongeBob: Everyone okay? Patrick, you can take your hands off your ears now. (Patrick does so) Patrick: I don't have any ears. SpongeBob: Where are we? Patrick: We're not in Bikini Bottom anymore... SpongeBob: This water tastes a bit... different. In fact, it feels a lot like air. But, if it is, then why can you and I breathe? Patrick: And this sand is all pink and... 'fluffy'. (a human-like creature approaches them) ???: That would be called grass. SpongeBob: Grass? I thought grass was green! ???: (chuckles) Not in this dimension anyway. Say, you're not from this dimension, are you? Patrick: How'd you figure that one out? ???: I just happened to be passing by and couldn't help but notice the three of you fall from the sky. SpongeBob: Oh, so we're in another dimension! That's why everything looks... strange. ???: I would imagine this would all look a bit peculiar to an 'outsider'. (they look around this new Adventure Time-like setting) Patrick: It's almost like I've ate too much seaweed! SpongeBob: Patrick, seaweed's not for us to eat anyway! It's unhealthy. It might even be illegal... ???: Well, it's very healthy and legal here! (takes a bag of seaweed out of his pocket and takes a bite out of strip and eats it) You want some? SpongeBob: Ew... Who are you anyway? ???: People around here call me Kevin. I've been trying to get people to call me 'Cool K', but, so far, I've had no luck. Everyone calls my brother 'Dangerous D'. Patrick: I would like to be referred to as 'Pretty P', but no one calls me that. SpongeBob: That's because you've never mentioned that preference to anyone. Patrick: Oh yeah. Kevin: I just find 'portalology' so interesting. SpongeBob: Come again? Kevin: 'Portalology', the study of portals and other dimensions. Is that terminology not used in your dimension? SpongeBob: Nuh-uh. Kevin: Anyway, 'portalology' is just so fascinating. Patrick: Not as fascinating as 'wumbology'. Kevin: I've never really found the study of 'wumbo' all that appealing. SpongeBob: What? Kevin: It doesn't matter. Anyway, welcome to the Wacky Dimension. It may take a while to get used to your new surroundings, but that's okay. SpongeBob: Well, it was nice knowing you but we should really be getting back to our dimension. Thanks for everything, by the way. So, how exactly do we get back to our own dimension? Kevin: I think we better see my father. Is that guy over there coming with? SpongeBob: I dunno. Is he dead? (they go over to Squidward) He's still breathing. Kevin: Must be asleep or something. Someone spit on him. (Patrick does so, and Squiward wakes up) Squidward: Huh? AAAH! DON'T DO THAT! (he wipes the saliva off of him) SpongeBob: Squidward, we're in another dimension. Kevin's gonna take us to his father so we can go home, I think. You coming? Squidward: Who are you talking to? Patrick: You, silly! Squidward: Squidward, eh? Hmm, nah, I'd rather not come. I think I'll stay here for a while. Goodbye. (runs off) Patrick: What's gotten into him? (cut to the exterior of a normal suburban house) SpongeBob: Wow! I don't know much about life above the ocean, but this seems like a pretty normal house on the surface. Kevin: Oh, is it? (laughs) It's funny how different yet similar these dimensions can be. I'm surprised we even speak the same language. Wait, what's an ocean? Patrick: OCEAN MAN! SpongeBob: An ocean is- Patrick: TAKE ME BY THE HAND! SpongeBob: An ocean is- Patrick: LEAD ME TO THE LAND! (silence for a few seconds, then SpongeBob resumes talking) SpongeBob: An ocean is basically a large- Patrick: THAT YOU UNDERST- (SpongeBob slaps him) Finland! SpongeBob: An ocean is basically a gargantuan pit full of water. We live in an ocean. Kevin: So, you call a lake an ocean? SpongeBob: (laughs) No, silly! A lake isn't nearly as big as an ocean! Kevin: Oh. We don't have any oceans in this dimension. Just lakes. We don't even have anything called 'planets' or 'galaxies' or whatever. That's the one thing I just don't understand about 'portalology'. You haven't heard of them, have you? SpongeBob: Briefly. Kevin: Intriguing! Patrick: But I don't wanna be a tree! Kevin: I would think not. (he checks that no one is looking and knocks three times on the garage) ???: WHO IS IT? Kevin: It's Cool K! ???: Who? Kevin: Uh... It's Kevin, your, uh, son. ???: What's the password? Patrick: A secret word or phrase that must be used to gain admission to a place. It's a noun. SpongeBob: Where'd you learn that, Patrick? Patrick: Google. Kevin: Who's Google? ???: (furious) KEVIN, YOU STILL THERE? Kevin: Yes, father. ???: (even more mad) I TOLD YOU NOT BRING ANY TOM, DICK OR HARRY 'ROUND HERE! (Patrick giggles) Kevin: But these aren't any old, Tom, Di- Di- Richard or Harry! Believe or not, they fell out of the sky. ???: OH, BUT LOTS OF PEOPLE FALL OUT OF THE SKY! Kevin: But, father! ???: DON'T YOU 'BUT FATHER' ME, KEVIN NORWOOD BA- PORTAL! DAMN! Kevin: If you would just let me- ???: NO BUTS, KEVIN! Kevin: But I never said- ???: YOU SAID WHAT, NOW! Kevin: But- ???: I JUST TOLD YOU NOT TO- Kevin: (even more furious than his father) JUST LISTEN TO ME! ???: (sigh) What do you want, son! Kevin: We have a code pink. ???: (the garage door opens) Come right in. TO BE CONTINUED...